Worst Ambulance Ever

"Jonee" (Jonee) 02/26/2015 at 18:24 • Filed to: Bedelia, cyclecar, dumb ideas

4

22

That's a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ambulance prototype. During WWI, the French army thought cyclecars would be a handy way of getting injured troops off the front line and to bigger, conventional ambulances that couldn't maneuver in the cratered battlefields. They were wrong. The bicycle tired cars got stuck in the mud and even the lightly injured would be critical by the time they got to a medic. Makes for some hilarious old photos, though. It's like they're bringing home trophies after an afternoon of The Most Dangerous Game.

Bedelias had a really fun seating configuration. Gives new meaning to the term "backseat driver," amirite, fellas?

505Turbeaux > Jonee 02/26/2015 at 18:31

1

Jonee you are my hero for your knowledge of the bizarre and unloved. How far are you from maine, i want to buy you a beer

Jonee > 505Turbeaux 02/26/2015 at 18:37

1

Thanks, buddy. I'm as far from Maine as I can be. I live in the L.A. area. But, if you ever leave Hoth and are in the neighborhood, do look me up. Where in Maine? I actually did a semester in Orono. Those months probably had something to do with why I migrated to Southern California. Although, I do miss my treks to that magnificent coastline you have.

505Turbeaux > Jonee 02/26/2015 at 18:46

0

Well then, next time i am out visiting my stepbrother in weho you are first on my list. Were you out during chickenfest? My girl is from bar harbor. any time you want to visit you let me know and you have a place here or in bar harbor

mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/ > Jonee 02/26/2015 at 19:23

0

Thanks for the info! I think they were on to something here. Lightness. Ambulances are too large and unwieldy and need to be faster/more agile. Granted there implementation was horrendous.

Jonee > 505Turbeaux 02/26/2015 at 19:26

0

Perfect. The Le Car and I will be waiting.

I did get to experience Chickenfest. Fortunately, my memories were wiped clean. Thanks. I visit my parents in Connecticut from time to time and always take a road trip when I'm there, so I may take you up on that.

Jonee > mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/ 02/26/2015 at 19:30

1

Yeah, that was the theory and it was definitely a sound idea. Unfortunately, I don't think there was a vehicle, yet, that was up to the task. Especially with how that war was fought. This was another attempt at the same idea.

mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/ > Jonee 02/26/2015 at 19:45

0

And then there were jeeps lol. But I think we can do better (with today's technology) than an outdated large van. Though I guess there is no monetary gain to be had from the govt perspective... So it won't happen.

Jobjoris > Jonee 02/27/2015 at 16:35

0

That weight distribution doesn't look terrible. Those belt and bicycle-tires do... What engine did these come with?

Jonee > Jobjoris 02/27/2015 at 17:00

0

Most of them came with a single cylinder motorbike engine, but a 10 horsepower v-twin was also available and I imagine that's what they put in these. Weight distribution was probably better with a patient aboard. Mid-engined, too.

Jobjoris > Jonee 02/27/2015 at 17:20

1

Don't get me wrong: The awesome weight distribution I was talking about was with a patient. I can imagine chauffeurs of these always were carrying whatever stuff was needed to get that amazing dynamic driveability!

Jonee > Jobjoris 02/27/2015 at 17:24

1

I wonder if handling is better with the passenger's head at the front, or the feet. I think you need a little weight over the front axle, so I'm going with head.

Jobjoris > Jonee 02/27/2015 at 17:40

1

I guess that's dynamically as well. There should be some formula to determine the best position. Size of the head times BMI divided by shoesize. Something like this. Maybe add some IQ to this to get the exact weight of the head ass well.

Jonee > Jobjoris 02/27/2015 at 17:58

1

They did wear heavy boots in that war, so you're right, it would depend on the soldier. Also, the fellow in the second picture is heavily mustachioed, so don't forget to take facial hair into account.

Jobjoris > Jonee 02/27/2015 at 23:23

0

L'homme avec le Moustache très énorme!

Should be enough epic footage of these heavily braking and launching the patient in the process somehow with the quality of belts and the proper securing under heavily fire.

Jonee > Jobjoris 02/28/2015 at 00:05

1

I think that's how they transferred them to their hospital beds.

DavidHH > Jonee 02/28/2015 at 13:31

0

Except the side car bikes actually worked fine.

Jonee > DavidHH 02/28/2015 at 14:07

1

Yeah, they were fairly widespread. Still doesn't look very comfortable for the casualties, though.

DavidHH > Jonee 02/28/2015 at 14:35

0

The beat bleeding to death. And my grandfather was a Surgeon in a WWII front line field hospital and the Willys and Dodge Ambulances were not much better.

Jonee > DavidHH 02/28/2015 at 14:40

1

I knew someone who had one of those Dodges and riding around in it once, I was astonished it had actually been used to transport wounded people. I felt beaten up and I was in perfect health.

DavidHH > Jonee 02/28/2015 at 15:01

1

When you consider that my Grandfather was the only Surgeon of the original eight to survive the war, the ambulances were not the worse part.

Even the time during an amputation, when he had to ask a nurse to remove the brains and blood of his late nurse from his glasses, due to a stray bullet was not the worse part.

The worse part was when they were sharing a warehouse with a German Field Hospital, which they did a number of times. Unfortunately the British Army thought it was only a German Field Hospital and shelled it, so my grandfather got the purple heart, and half the staff's family got two men at their next of kin's front door.

Jonee > DavidHH 02/28/2015 at 16:48

1

Amazing. I've read similar stories. My grandfather fought in the First World War and didn't like talking about it.

DavidHH > Jonee 02/28/2015 at 17:23

0

War is Hell, but I could get my grandfather to tell me about his life simply by listening and asking questions. He hated war, as most of his family were made into soap for the crime of being Prussian Jews, well mostly Prussian Jews and a little Catholic. He also drank a fifth of rye a day for a few years after the war, and then just stopped and went back to being a light social drinker. He was fearless, and even crossed the line several times to treat his cousin who was hiding in the German Army pretending to be Catholic. Clearly he was fearless having an H dog tag, and all, something that I didn't know the meaning off until a sniper from Loyalist Tigers Bay cut my head with fragments of brick, after I heard the buzzing noise. Some people shit their pants, and others don't shit for a few days, something I inherited from my grandfather apparently.